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♥FARAH DIYANA DYRAH. Republic Polytechnic. Nineteeen & afew months HALLOWEEN BABYYY. I believe in karma. ♥♥Reblogging and admiring pretty pictures so, MYTUMBLR♥ YOUTUBE♥ I am currently feeling: 
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2011.
Saturday, December 31, 2011 | 11:00 PM | 0 Sweet Cupcake
Im not summing up 2011, im just stating down what i been through, my thoughts on it and well.. other stuff.Okay, honestly, 2011 just was not my year. I think i been through alot this year and it has taken its toll on me, and thankfully, i made it through and im still alive, continuing with my life and welcoming a brand new year. I think 2011 has taught me so many things. Where do i even begin? Apart from meeting new people, new friends that i can trust and talk and just have a good time with, i also made some relationships with certain people kinda downhill. I lost contact with some, made new friends, had a few eye candys hehe, and also made some relationships better. Im thankful for everyone that i still keep in contact with, and of course all my bestfriends that i can count on and we still have a good time together, laughing, catching up and having a good time. You guys know who you are ♥ ♥ Okay so, i learnt that well, i dont know how to put this... I cant control how i want my life to be, i cant control how things should go. Maybe, in the first place i was just thinking of myself, and i dont think about other people. And i think you are gonna laugh at me but i learnt that it is possible to actually love someone so much. Well before this i dont think i have ever cared for anyone as much as i cared for ______. So people, if you have been reading my blog and wondered why i cant move on is because of this. Anyway i am and have been moving on but its just hard. Let me just state this clearly. And well, ive been living with all these for i think half a year already. Honestly i have never felt so sad before in my life. There was this one point of time where i think i almost became depressed cause ... idk i just could not take it. No one could help me, only i can help myself. I cried myself to sleep everynight and sometimes at random timing like in the bus or just when im alone. I found myself just staring and zoning out, totally no mood. So then, of course there were times where everything was fine, but there were also times where everythings a mess. I guess its because i dont want to lose the friendship that we have, because i dont think all this is worth it. And i think that because i care too much. I think there were times where i just felt like giving up, live in denial etc etc I didnt deserve all this do i? Its like waking up and then dying for hmm idk 3 to 4 months. Im surprise im still alive. It took me quite a few times to reassure myself that everything would be fine. I have let go for a very long time seriously. Just that there are times when everything comes back to me. Really fcked up feeling. But as for now, Im letting go of all my hearts baggage. With the help of everyone around me, people who care about me and can count on, i can do it. I know i can. 2012, i hope you will be good to me, and let me feel happy at least. I want to be the girl that i was before ALL OF THIS happened. And to think i that our friendship was this close to being gone, were getting better and hopefully it'll stay that way. The only thing that bothers me is if i feel that youre lying or even say things just to not make me sad. Being honest is the best. So what if it kills me? Arent you like half a year too late if you want to save me from being more upset? Friends dont lie to each other. They be there for one another. I hope none of this ever repeats, and even if were not exactly like we were before, we would be okay and still be there at the end of the day. If you really cared in the first place too, you would also want us to be like before as well. We are better off like that anyway, you think so, i think so too. But all in all, with the new year coming up, im letting it all these bad/hurtful memories go and looking forward to better things this 2012 (: So yeah, i hope that kinds of sums up everything that is the more prominent in 2011. Im much much better now as compared to last few months, so yeah. I have faith, especially in the one above. ^__^ I hope 2012 would be as awesome for you who is reading this (: Have fun welcoming the new year and take good care of yourselves. Meowww~ Xoxo, dyrah. Labels: Bye bad memories of 2011, hello 2012. |
